This is not how it was supposed to go

I know I tend to have long breaks between posts, but this one wasn’t because nothing interesting happened, or because I didn’t think about writing.

Just over four weeks ago I went to sleep on a Saturday night, only it didn’t work out so well, because my bad eye began to hurt so I couldn’t sleep. The next morning I gathered myself, went to the emergency room of the local ophthalmology clinic. They gave me an ibuprofen pain killer and a prescription for eye drops that would relieve the intraocular pressure.

I bought the drops, and when evening came, I tried them. That was a mistake — the drops caused burning that felt more intense than pain of the previous night.

I took a sick day, and phoned the doctor with whom I discussed the evisceration operation before. I got an appointment for Thursday. I slept pretty well for two days, and then a night before the appointment, the pain was back.

The doc prescribed pain killers, a combination of paracetamol and codeine. In the next eighteen days I went through 120 of them — and I only took them during the nights, when the pain woke me up.

Last Monday, I ran out. Even though he wasn’t available for the day, I managed to reach the doctor, thanks to a sympathetic optician who left him a message for me. He called me back, and this time prescribed a combination: the aforementioned codeine-laced pills and another sort opioid. And for a couple of nights I actually slept pretty well.

Right now, it’s been over four weeks since the whole deal began, and during that time, I’ve slept maybe four full nights total. Next Friday I have an appointment at the clinic where the evisceration will be performed. At this point, I can honestly say I’m really waiting to get rid of an eye.

One curious detail about the pain is that it really isn’t that bad until I go to sleep — when I lie down, that is. Something to do with the fluids in the anterior chamber, I guess. I’ve managed to work during the day, and why not — it’s not like I can rest either. So I try to be useful at work, although it gets a bit hard to keep a clear head at times, due to sleeping mostly in 15 to 30 minute bursts.

Lectures at the university became intolerable pretty quickly, so I had to drop them. I did manage to pass my English courses with a placement test, though, and I’m guessing I probably passed both linalg II and discrete math — not with flying colors, but I guess I can try to do better once I’m all good again.

That’s all for today, and I’ll probably be going back on a hiatus till I’m pain-free again, because I’m really tired of complaining all the time. Unfortunately, I’m not good for much else right now.